Lotus and Lily Field Notes

Just got back from my Losar experience at Nalanda West. The best part (apart from outstanding potluck food) was talking with my Nalandabodhi mentor about a practice I’m exploring, exemplified by the phrase “Buddhist view, Christian practice.”  My approach was confirmed and supported by him, which is very helpful.  I’ll go into this in more depth some other time, but the basic idea is to use Jesus as an object of vajrayana-style meditation.  This is not to say that Jesus is a deity like a Buddhist meditational deity, but it’s not to say that Jesus isn’t a meditational deity.  It’s not to say that Jesus is not the only Son of God, but it’s not to say that Jesus is the only Son of God.

This approach to logic, basically deconstructing all affirmations, is very much in the Mahayana tradition (we owe it all to the great Nagarjuna), and it’s immensely helpful for doing work like this.  So I am grateful tonight for being given a little boost of confidence in the current state of my blended Buddhist-Christian practice.

The other outcome of tonight is that it looks like I’ll be invited to participate in Nalandabodhi’s planned conference on death and dying, which should be taking place in August.  I talked to one of the organizers about my work with the  Music Thanatology International Association, and they were as excited as I was about the possibility of bringing some chant and harp music to the conference.  Exciting possibility!

The evening included about thirty minutes of delicious chanting prior to dinner.  I’ve often found Tibetan Buddhist chanting to be a bit low for my range, and I often sing a little higher than the group despite the fact that it “ruins” the effect of unison singing.  But tonight for some reason I could stay with it and it was very pleasing.

It always takes a while to get fully comfortable with a new liturgical form, and since I’ve only gone to a handful of services (my Buddhist involvement has been limited for the most part to attending my Monday night classes) I have some learning to do.  But there’s a bit of familiarity starting to creep in that is helping to make the services more meaningful.  Again, a good experience tonight from start to finish.  Whew!

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Tonight I’m going to Nalanda West to celebrate Losar. I’ve been studying Tibetan Buddhism there since last summer and it’s been a thoroughly delightful experience. After many years of circling the dharma I feel like I have found a way to enter in.

The challenge has always been, and will probably always be, to allow myself to enter into community. Lots of fears and neuroses about that.

But there are (at least) two very positive circumstances that are helping me a lot: one is the mini-sangha of my fellow classmates in the series I’m taking. There are five or six of us that have been there since the beginning, and the depth of the group’s inquiry and committment, and the level of the conversation, has been truly wonderful and memorable. Another immensely helpful quality has been the sangha members who have led the classes–there have been probably six or eight people who have come in at various times. We could not ask for a more mature, wise, and dedicated group of people to learn from.

Behind all this is the wisdom of the community’s teacher, the Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche. Although he isn’t involved in the class (I really have only met him in passing once, a long time ago), his presence is clearly felt in the course materials and in the demeanor and energy of his students who teach us in their turn.

So all in all, a very special circumstance. One that makes it possible for me to screw up my courage and go to this big event tonight (potluck, gifts for the lama, the whole nine yards) with at least the minimal amount of neurotic apprehension.

Happy Losar!

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